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Generic clomid cost $100 a month. But because my weight wasn't changing at all, I figured was in the clear.
At this point, it seemed logical that the weight and blood pressure levels in both myself and the doctor were fine, so I just gave in. By then, it was March, and I feeling pretty jacked up after starting the cycle and cutting out grains processed foods – a diet I'd been thinking about for months. I was so relieved went through with it.
Then the changes started. I couldn't think clearly for the first time in my life, and it was becoming harder to remember what I needed eat or drink. was just feeling worse and every day, getting a little worse every day. It made me doubt what was happening and just wanted to go back what I used to be.
Two days later, I'd gone for an MRI and was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called pleural mesothelioma, and I needed chemotherapy.
At first, it helped a lot. There were moments where I was able to think for a few minutes during the chemo. But it never really ended. The drugs changed everything. They made my whole metabolism completely change, and I felt like was getting sicker and sicker.
I remember lying on the kitchen floor in our bathroom staring up at the ceiling – I was sure had some sort of seizure at any second. There are times when I think my body may just have caught up with me, and I'll get this horrible nausea or pain.
My doctor gave me a year and half to live. the moment I woke up from that, was angry. For weeks afterwards, all I could think about were thoughts of how I had let this happen to me, how horrible this was and unfair it was. So I left the clinic, just as angry if I'd died. just spent so much time and energy trying to live a perfectly normal life, only to come out of it broken, and with my body wrecked mind messed up.
I felt like I'd just seen the world upside down, like everything I had tried to live for was gone. It almost like a dream. And at the same time, I felt so grateful that had the chance to do it. I couldn't think of a better, more important thing that I could have been doing with my life. So I left, completely against my doctors' advice, and went back home where my whole life had started for me.
And now, here I am: 20 years after my experience, I'm still feeling the effects of chemo as I write this. My eyes are bloodshot, and I have problems with my legs. As for weight – it's still fluctuating about a pound week from my previous weight. But the thing that seems most surprising to me is how healthy my entire immune system is. I used to get sick when I was stressed. If at work and I got sick at home, there was really no telling what it could be.
But these days, every time I get sick, make sure to take my medicine, I put some distance between myself and my body, I keep myself busy with activities that will help me recover from whatever's wrong at the moment.
It's all because of that last summer. The summer changed everything for me. And this is another time in my twenties where I get to be here and tell Drug store shampoo brands all of.
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